If you were to create a new Religion, which features would you choose from this ala carte combo-pack?

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1) A charismatic preacher

2) A Great Book of unknown and untraceable origin

3) Some drug-crazed followers who seek “recovery”

4) A political attack-dog who writes inflammatory books against other religions and political parties

5) A secluded compound in rural Texas.

6) A celebrity endorser with half a brain.

7) Stockpiles of napalm and semi-automatics.
8) A magazine about the way things “really are” to leave in bus-stops and mailboxes (also available in French)

9) Your own television satellite to broadcast your views to 60 Million people world-wide

10) A connection with Big Oil and a few congressmen in your pocket.

11) Grape Kool-Aid in huge steel vats

12) A trendy mark or slogan for your members to tattoo on themselves.

13) Ritualistic weirdness like speaking in tongues, banishing demons or handling poisonous snakes

14) An reptilian-alien conspiracy story which involves prominent people in Government and Hollywood.

15) A publishing company that allows your members to print their own books from their computers and send their books to Border’s and Barnes and Noble at the click of a button

15 thoughts on “If you were to create a new Religion, which features would you choose from this ala carte combo-pack?”

  5. James 1:27
    Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

  7. 6 and 12. When I founded Parrotism, that’s all I really needed. And it’s done really well.

  8. freedom is the only one true religion. OK world, you are free, cast off the chains and join my religion.

  9. I’m disappointed.

    You seem to have left out Free Beer, Sacred Prostitution, and the Establishment of an Inquisition.

  11. Oddly enough, #2 is the only one that appeals.

    But I believe that one has already been done.
    .

  12. A Socialist Humanist, Multicultural Church, emphasizing Peace and Social Service

  13. Put them all together and they sound like the Bush Republican Base.

    Actually, my new religion wouldn’t be new at all. It would feature the same rule featured in our Christian religion, which is conveniently forgotten by so many people today.

    Christ said…The most important Commandment is Love Thy Neighbor…it is Equal to Loving God.

    I just wish I could be around on Judgement Day to listen to Republicans explain just why they supported going to War in Iraq, supported cutting funds for Children’s Services, supported tax cuts for the rich while the public loses jobs, money and homes!

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